Do you ever find yourself attracted to someone of the straight variety? Like, with genuine interest? I can only imagine you would be physically attracted to the person, but do you ever meet someone that you click with who is straight and secretly wish they were not? Do you pursue it, or see if there is interest? Even though you are pretty certain they are straight? How does that work out for you ladies? Especially in our society where there are many bi-sexual females.
This is one of those questions I can really only answer for myself. Gay friends, please comment.
Attraction is a funny thing. I can find a man attractive, and not want to do the dirty with him. Likewise, I can find a woman attractive – identify that she is indeed, smokin’ hot, or beautiful, or what-have-you – and not be “attracted to” her. For me, there is something beyond a person’s physical beauty that attracts me to them, “with genuine interest.” One of those things is their ability to emotionally and physically commit to me. If a woman isn’t able to do that, gay or straight, it’s not going to work. My attraction to them won’t last.
Now, that’s not to say that, if a woman is smokin’ hot, and attracted to me, but unavailable for long-term, emotional commitment, that I won’t have genuine interest in her. I might, but it’s a cruel trick played by pheromones. However, if a woman really likes me as a person, but isn’t physically attracted to me, it’s not going to work for me, whether she’s gay or straight. I need to know that my partner wants to be with me sexually. And if a woman wants to be with me sexually, she’s not straight.
So, do I pursue a woman if I really connect with her, but I think she’s straight? Only until I find out that she is. Pursuing a relationship with a woman who is not attracted to me isn’t interesting to me. Personally, I think it borders on emotional self-abuse.
I will add that this doesn’t happen very often at all for me. I’ve found myself attracted to a few “straight” women who turn out to be not-so-straight when it comes down to it. But I think there’s some built in mechanism by which lady-lovin’-ladies can sniff each other out. It’s in the eyes. Or the swagger, or the shoving of her tongue down my throat. I don’t know. Something subtle like that.